Quiet

 Quiet. The only sound audible in this room is the little noise coming from the air conditioner. I feel a sudden urge to talk to someone. I swipe to the 'Favourite ' section of my contact list. I mentally recall what each one of them would be doing at this time of the day and eventually close my contact list. Well I could have called one of them, who is on a vacation sort of thing, but what will I say to her? I have a tendency to go blank when I exactly know what to say. 

I was on the phone with my sister the other day. Our family went through a crisis in the past few weeks. She told me that now when everything is almost back to normal, she has slowly begun to feel the intensity of the happenings. I told her it's for the best.

" I just want to cry. All the time." 

Lines from Fleabag, a show I watched recently. Fleabag says these words to a stranger(almost) and her face dims with sadness for a moment. She didn't cry. 

The fact that she didn't or maybe couldn't cry, breaks my heart till date.

The noise from the AC is still the only sound audible here. I sometimes sing to myself in the evenings. I try to get something out of my vocal chords. But it seems as almost disrespectful to the quiet of this space. So I let it be. Quiet.