Musing 15

 11:43 PM

I'm a little sad because I cannot stay awake for long to enjoy the night. I wish nights could stay a little longer.

I may seem fluent with words if you read me but you'll witness a stark contrast if you meet me in person. 

I once went to the movies in a group and never spoke a word for the entire time. You can say I lack words at times. You know those people who minutely plan a conversation before making a phone call, what are they called?

I would like to believe that there are other people too who fall short of words, or putting it in a more non self depreciating way, there are no words known for things that cross my mind, and things I feel.

What is it called when you want to freeze a moment because you're very much aware it's never gonna happen again?

What's the word for the feeling when you're overwhelmed but decide to stay quiet because you are hopeful of being understood, without words?

What's the fear of your voice going unheard called?

Having a mental conversation with yourself regarding the conversation you're having with someone simultaneously, is there a word for it?

What is it called when your thoughts diverge into multitudes of distributaries and you fail to pick one to sail, voice?

Is there a word for getting speechless trying to fathom the depth of a pair of calm, brown eyes? Yes, there is one for this, which I would narrowly escape mentioning.

As Dostoevsky writes,

" I have so much to say to you that I'm afraid I shall tell you nothing."

That's all I can think of right now. I wish I could stay awake further, I wish the nights were longer.