A good night

 'Saawali si raat ho, khamoshi ka saath ho...'

The beautiful melody is filling every inch of my room and every bit of my mind, as I lay on the bed in complete darkness. I often have some music playing on the speakers to avoid the eerie silence of my living space ( read life). But this is different. The music somehow is complementing the quiet. This is different, this is night.

'Bin kahe bin sune, baat ho teri meri...'

I scroll for one last time through my phone to check if he has replied to my messages. No. I keep my phone down. It does not matter, no more. Conversations through phones, or even conversations in general do not come naturally to me. I have to prepare a mental draft before conversing with most people, and these text messages just give me anxiety. Thankfully I do not have to converse with many people here, a daily average of 3, to be precise. About the texting part, I'm working on it. I seriously wish some people could learn telepathy. 

'Neend jab ho laapata, udasiyaan zara hata...'

It amuses me how the best part of my day is when I retire to bed. Not that I am sleepy or anything! I like having the quiet of the night all for myself. I sometimes wish it never ended. Not that I do something productive or creative. I just lay down and spend hours staring into nothingness, focusing on melody of songs at times, and relating with the lyrics at others.

Maybe I'll read a romance novel, maybe I'll watch my favourite love story or maybe I'll just close my eyes and let the hopeless romantic that I am take over my imagination. Or maybe I'll do none of it and just drift off to sleep, but I like my options.

The night seems so dark that I cannot see it's morning, and that is beautiful to me. I do not want the light of the morning, I do not want the routine of the day. I want the abstractness of the night.

Maybe I'll write a poem, maybe I'll sing a song. Or maybe I'll do neither and just drift off to sleep, but I like my options.

'Khwabon ki razaai mein, raat ho teri meri...'

The melody fades as I take a turn and pull the blanket. 

Goodnight!