Musing -7

 After straining my legs and back for the entire day, I am sitting crossed legged on the floor. This feels good.

I am very conscious about the extra effort I have to put in order to sit with a straight back. My spine seems to be double my age. I have to start practicing yoga from tomorrow.

 I can see the clean sheets I've spread on my bed today. They fill me with a weird sense of satisfaction.

 There are four books on my table. I've finished reading them all. One of them was thick and sad. I remember waking up early one fine morning and staying in bed till I completed it. A good morning indeed.

My attention diverts towards my buzzing watch. It's telling me to get up and move. I check my step count for today- 9759 steps.

The phone blinks with a message notification. My mom had sent a big heart emoji replying to the picture of my dinner I sent her earlier. I cooked it all by myself.

Another message pops up. A friend is inviting me for an online gaming session tonight. I'm about to reply a "yes", but I pause.

It occurs to me again that none of this is in sync with my long term goals. I've been out of my usual routine for a month now. A very known feeling has begun to overpower my senses,and that is fear.

This time of the year is the closest to my heart for a lot of reasons. One of them being my enhanced capabilities to keep all the fears at bay, just momentarily. I somehow manage to fling open the window, allowing myself to see beyond my realities.

But the consciousness of the mindless marathon, of which I'm a runner for years now, in which I seem to be lagging behind with each passing day, is always present.

Well I've never ran even a race in my life, let alone a marathon. But I'm aware of the fact that runners need to slow down, drink some water, breathe, before the last lap.

The door Bell's ring broke my reverie. I got up to open the door. It's a parcel. Looking at its size and packaging I'm assuming these are the 3 books I ordered for this week.

On my way back from the door I text my friend that I'll be there on time for the game.

Instead of replying to my mom with an emoji or a text, I send her a smiling selfie.

My watch buzzes- 10,000 steps target achieved.

After straining my legs and back for the entire day, I am sitting cross legged on the floor. 

This feels good.